THE EVANGELICAL BUDDHIST or: Try Not To Chant Incorrectly

Let me start by saying that if I were to seriously explore any organized religion, Buddhism would be at the top of my list. Let me then go on to say that I have no interest in seriously exploring any organized religion. At least not for the purpose of embracing it as my own. Which brings me to an unusual experience I had recently of being in contact with someone I’ve come to call the Evangelical Buddhist. He’s a bit socially awkward -some would say challenged- but for the most part he seems to come off as a pretty sweet guy. Most of the time. But the Evangelical Buddhist approaches his desire to share his religious revelations and his need for them to be embraced by others with all the subtlety of the Spanish Inquisition. My connection to the Evangelical Buddhist was established around our mutual creative outlet: music. There were many other issues which lead to our eventual parting of ways, but it was the Evangelical Buddhist’s intolerance of both myself and others, his almost comical air of superiority, his all-around inability to, well… learn from his own destructive behavior and, ultimately, his bigotry surrounding his “Non-Buddhist friends” that struck the final blow. 

Now one might be moved to say, “Well, it doesn’t sound like he’s a Buddhist at all.” But that all depends on your understanding of Buddhism. There are many different forms of Buddhism. But in all my research, I could not find any branch of Buddhist philosophy that embraced an arrogantly fundamentalist approach mixed with forceful proselytizing. The Evangelical Buddhist claimed to practice what is known as Nichiren Buddhism. Could this be the intolerant form of Buddhism I had come in contact with? I looked deeper. I found a very enlightening web page called “Nichiren Buddhism 4 Kids“. It states:

“A Buddha knows she is the universe. She knows everyone else is too. A Buddha knows how to overcome any problem and bring unbeatable happiness out of his life. He also helps other people do these things and respects himself and other people.” 

Well this can’t be right. The Evangelical Buddhist is the most unhappy person I know. He speaks poorly of women, says degrading things to both friends and acquaintances, is judgmental of others… But wait, the Evangelical Buddhist chants for his happiness. The more he chants, the better he believes his life will get. Now I don’t want to judge the act of chanting or praying. I think both can be effective tools in one’s life and I certainly don’t know enough about the universe to lay claim to any knowledge that these acts are anything less than transcendent experiences with very real, very palpable results. Again, our friendly web site offers this bit of insight about the Buddhist chant: 

“Nichiren taught people to chant the words Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to bring out the Buddha inside them. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo means “I devote my life to the Wonderful Law of the Buddha’s Lotus Flower teaching.”"

Wow. That sounds nice. Before embarking on our creative journeys together, the Evangelical Buddhist would ask me to chant with him. I did. Happily. It seemed like a relaxing thing to do. Very centering. I was honest from the start and shared that, for me, it was not a religious act, but simply allowed me to have a quiet moment to connect with my musical partner before going out on stage. I accepted without judgement that chanting was part of his religious practice and believed that in joining him, I was both respecting and honoring his beliefs, even if I did not share them. 

But NO NO NO, I was wrong! What was I thinking?! 

I came to learn that chanting doesn’t work -has no meaning whatsoever- if you do it incorrectly! It didn’t matter that I was getting something positive out of it. It didn’t matter that I felt it allowed me to connect with another human being in a peaceful, joyful manner. No. It had to be done with the same intent and with the same beliefs as the Evangelical Buddhist’s or it was meaningless. 

You learn something new every day.

Now while I still think Buddhism is a tremendously fascinating religion and/or practice, and while I continue to believe that there are areas where the Buddhist beliefs and my own notions of the world, life and the universe overlap, I am quite certain that the ways of the Evangelical Buddhist are not my own. I found myself once again at the receiving end of an unsolicited sermon from the Evangelical Buddhist on how all the things that were going “wrong” in my life were a direct result of my not chanting (cause let’s face it, I didn’t do it much so my life was obviously on a serious downward spiral) and how what I needed to do was to chant more. Preferably with him. Even more preferably at the SGI Friendship Center*. Despite the fact that I’d repeatedly asked him in the kindest possible manner that he not preach to me anymore or try to get me to embrace his beliefs, I found myself having to literally hang up the phone to get him to stop. But the phone rang again immediately! And it was him. And he was screaming that I needed to chant, that it was the only way to happiness. I told him this conversation was not okay with me and he needed to stop. But I was wrong. Apparently, what he needed to do was to push harder, louder!

I hung up again. 

Never underestimate the power of the Evangelical Buddhist. The phone rang again. And in a final act of repeated destructive behavior, I answered. 

“NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO! NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO!” taunted the voice on the other end. 

With a quiet sense of sadness, I hung up the phone a third and final time. Yes, it rang again. In fact, it still rings several times a day. But I don’t answer. Unlike the Evangelical Buddhist, I like to learn from my mistakes, from my own destructive patterns. I’ve come to learn that the Evangelical Buddhist isn’t going to change in the ways I would need him to in order to maintain any kind of healthy contact. And that’s alright. Our lives will continue and, if we’re both lucky, we’ll find our separate ways to our own personal Nirvanas. Even if they don’t look exactly alike. 

One final note: My phone beeped while I was writing this. It was a text message. The Evangelical Buddhist wanted all his gifts back; the gifts he’d given me over the years. Hmmm… I decided, better than giving them back, I would pass them on to the kind folks over at the Scientology Center. And if they didn’t want them, maybe I’d try Jimmy Swaggart.

*The Soka Gakki International is called the SGI for short. The Soka Gakkai International is a Nichiren Buddhist organization. In Japanese Soka Gakkai means, “Organization for Creating Value (goodness).”